http://blogs.healthcare.com/tumorgirl Healthcare.com Blogs Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:42:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 en http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/12/brand-new-day.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/12/brand-new-day.html#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:42:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-4885161122103194637
Today I have several things I need to do. I need to clean up my drum kit so I can take a pic of it and post it to try to sell it, I need to make the bracelet that was ordered, and I need to start cleaning my apartment starting with gathering up all the dvd's that I want to sell and then dusting the storage units and reorganizing everything. Busy day. Tomorrow I am going to go to the DWP office to see if I take in my disability form if they will let me go on the low income plan. The application involves proof of wages earned from last year but if I can prove that I am only getting $200 a week I am hoping they will accept that and lower my bill. Wish me luck!]]>
Today I have several things I need to do. I need to clean up my drum kit so I can take a pic of it and post it to try to sell it, I need to make the bracelet that was ordered, and I need to start cleaning my apartment starting with gathering up all the dvd's that I want to sell and then dusting the storage units and reorganizing everything. Busy day. Tomorrow I am going to go to the DWP office to see if I take in my disability form if they will let me go on the low income plan. The application involves proof of wages earned from last year but if I can prove that I am only getting $200 a week I am hoping they will accept that and lower my bill. Wish me luck!]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/12/brand-new-day.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/life-is-strange.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/life-is-strange.html#comments Sun, 30 Nov 2008 19:27:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-8977973083171819322
One of my friends was supposed to join me last night but couldn't make it so she is taking me to lunch so I must go get ready. Oh, BTW, many people, my parents included, have suggested that I move back in with my parents for awhile. This would be fine if they didn't live in PA. I want to be here in CA so I can work when there is work. I have nothing to do in PA, no way to make a living and would hate it, though it would be nice to be able to see my family and my friends but I need to stay here. Things will work out. If I need to put my stuff in storage and sleep on someone's couch to stay that is what I will do. I do thank you all for your support!]]>
One of my friends was supposed to join me last night but couldn't make it so she is taking me to lunch so I must go get ready. Oh, BTW, many people, my parents included, have suggested that I move back in with my parents for awhile. This would be fine if they didn't live in PA. I want to be here in CA so I can work when there is work. I have nothing to do in PA, no way to make a living and would hate it, though it would be nice to be able to see my family and my friends but I need to stay here. Things will work out. If I need to put my stuff in storage and sleep on someone's couch to stay that is what I will do. I do thank you all for your support!]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/life-is-strange.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/of-course.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/of-course.html#comments Sun, 30 Nov 2008 00:56:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-4740239370793124546
I have less than 3 hours until my friends pickl me up to go out, I really need to cheer up. I thought about playing RB but sometimes it gives me a headache and that is the last thing I need right now! I just wish I could find my Xanax! I have looked everywhere for it, I really can't remember what I did with it! I wish I could drink! I want to have fun tonight, and I am really gonna try, but its hard to think positive when everything seems to be against it! Like I said, every time I try something negative happens! I really have no idea what I am going to do. Maybe sell all my stuff, put the rest of it in storage and hopefully find a friend that will let me stay on their couch until I get a job and can find a place that will rent to me, although by then rents are going to be even higher! I am probably gonna have to live in a studio apartment again for awhile until I get some saving started.

None of this makes any sense to me. I understand that people get sick, and I'm not crying why me? its just that it seems very strange that everything was lined up so perfectly for me to make a living as a production assistant for 5 years and then get into the prop union just in time to get insurance to be covered for my diagnosis but now I can't find a job and I'm gonna have to sell everything and it just doesn't make any sense. And there are all the other issues I've been stating all along, like how miserable I was to begin with and this is just making it worse and not better. When I first got diagnosed I was fine, pretty much unphased, I had a job and I wanted to get back to it so I had something to live for and I survived. But before that job I was miserable, so I get a job that makes me happy and helps me survive a very traumatic surgery just to lose it and become miserable again, I don't get it! I really feel like I am being punished for something and I have no idea what. I got better and went back to work and then had to leave because of the staph infection, then went back to work and was forced to leave because , well, I'm not going into all that again. But at the beginning of the year I really thought things were looking up. I worked in May and then in July and I thought things would be fine, but I was wrong. I just don't know how much more of this I can survive. Its hard enough to deal with all the health issues, but to keep getting my morale knocked down too, thats even tougher. I wish I could go out tonight and drink and just forget about all of it, but unfortunately that is part of my "punishment," I cannot drink. I just don't know what to do any more.]]>
I have less than 3 hours until my friends pickl me up to go out, I really need to cheer up. I thought about playing RB but sometimes it gives me a headache and that is the last thing I need right now! I just wish I could find my Xanax! I have looked everywhere for it, I really can't remember what I did with it! I wish I could drink! I want to have fun tonight, and I am really gonna try, but its hard to think positive when everything seems to be against it! Like I said, every time I try something negative happens! I really have no idea what I am going to do. Maybe sell all my stuff, put the rest of it in storage and hopefully find a friend that will let me stay on their couch until I get a job and can find a place that will rent to me, although by then rents are going to be even higher! I am probably gonna have to live in a studio apartment again for awhile until I get some saving started.

None of this makes any sense to me. I understand that people get sick, and I'm not crying why me? its just that it seems very strange that everything was lined up so perfectly for me to make a living as a production assistant for 5 years and then get into the prop union just in time to get insurance to be covered for my diagnosis but now I can't find a job and I'm gonna have to sell everything and it just doesn't make any sense. And there are all the other issues I've been stating all along, like how miserable I was to begin with and this is just making it worse and not better. When I first got diagnosed I was fine, pretty much unphased, I had a job and I wanted to get back to it so I had something to live for and I survived. But before that job I was miserable, so I get a job that makes me happy and helps me survive a very traumatic surgery just to lose it and become miserable again, I don't get it! I really feel like I am being punished for something and I have no idea what. I got better and went back to work and then had to leave because of the staph infection, then went back to work and was forced to leave because , well, I'm not going into all that again. But at the beginning of the year I really thought things were looking up. I worked in May and then in July and I thought things would be fine, but I was wrong. I just don't know how much more of this I can survive. Its hard enough to deal with all the health issues, but to keep getting my morale knocked down too, thats even tougher. I wish I could go out tonight and drink and just forget about all of it, but unfortunately that is part of my "punishment," I cannot drink. I just don't know what to do any more.]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/of-course.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-year-procedure-free.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-year-procedure-free.html#comments Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:17:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-2949283246352595319
My follow up MRI is coming up in a couple weeks and should be another reason to be happy over the holidays. I am hoping for another report of no new growth! My thyroid problems explain all the problems I've been having so no reason to think otherwise! I'll keep you posted!]]>
My follow up MRI is coming up in a couple weeks and should be another reason to be happy over the holidays. I am hoping for another report of no new growth! My thyroid problems explain all the problems I've been having so no reason to think otherwise! I'll keep you posted!]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/one-year-procedure-free.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-need-your-help.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-need-your-help.html#comments Wed, 26 Nov 2008 01:55:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-5716854868338290832
So what do you think? I am thinking this could be the logo for my foundation. I could put this on jewelry (with practice makes perfect it will look better next time!) and those who don't want a BTS piece or Brain Tumor Survivor piece can have this to signify support for my our cause! I Trade Mark it and also design the graphic to use on a website to sell it, as well as other pieces, and give info about brain tumors, and support and such. I need peoples opinions. I know many people read my posts, I actually need some feedback on this one. I know it looks a little rough at the bottom, like I said, it is my first one. Please give me your input, what you like about it, or don't like about it, I won't be offended I promise!]]>
So what do you think? I am thinking this could be the logo for my foundation. I could put this on jewelry (with practice makes perfect it will look better next time!) and those who don't want a BTS piece or Brain Tumor Survivor piece can have this to signify support for my our cause! I Trade Mark it and also design the graphic to use on a website to sell it, as well as other pieces, and give info about brain tumors, and support and such. I need peoples opinions. I know many people read my posts, I actually need some feedback on this one. I know it looks a little rough at the bottom, like I said, it is my first one. Please give me your input, what you like about it, or don't like about it, I won't be offended I promise!]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-need-your-help.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/whew.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/whew.html#comments Wed, 26 Nov 2008 01:04:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-248876335410733930
I had an appointment with my N this morning. Except for the headaches and the depression I have been feeling better than the last time I saw him so I told him that. I also told him about my thyroid. He said that could explain why I was still having seizures, it could also explain my aches, my headaches, and my depression. He did agree to let me go back up to the 20mg dose of lexapro which means it I won't be increasing the topamax tomorrow I will wait 10 more days. But I had to promise if I have another seizure that I will go back to the 10mg dose of lexapro. Hopefully the synthroid, keppra and topamax will keep me from having anymore seizures and the synthroid and lexapro will keep me from being depressed! I am also hoping that the synthroid and topamax can get rid of these headaches! Also the fact that I should be getting a check soon should help too! Wish me luck!]]>
I had an appointment with my N this morning. Except for the headaches and the depression I have been feeling better than the last time I saw him so I told him that. I also told him about my thyroid. He said that could explain why I was still having seizures, it could also explain my aches, my headaches, and my depression. He did agree to let me go back up to the 20mg dose of lexapro which means it I won't be increasing the topamax tomorrow I will wait 10 more days. But I had to promise if I have another seizure that I will go back to the 10mg dose of lexapro. Hopefully the synthroid, keppra and topamax will keep me from having anymore seizures and the synthroid and lexapro will keep me from being depressed! I am also hoping that the synthroid and topamax can get rid of these headaches! Also the fact that I should be getting a check soon should help too! Wish me luck!]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/whew.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/life-sucks.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/life-sucks.html#comments Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:55:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-1283858064150690936 http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/life-sucks.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/holding-on.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/holding-on.html#comments Sun, 23 Nov 2008 21:42:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-6947741630763687248
I couldn't find a good rubber band to put around my wrist, but I did find a scrunchy so I am trying it. Unfortunately it is really tight right now, I am trying to stretch it a little. I hope this idea works.

I have a headache again and I am achy all over too. My right knee has been bothering me a lot lately and yesterday I jammed my left toe into the floor, I think I cracked the nail. A laugh a minute around here. I must say, though, I do feel a little better, emotionally, since I talked to my friend. She really is a good friend, even if she doesn't live up to MY expectations! Its not fair of me to judge her for not doing things she doesn't know I want her to do. I just need to be able to tell her what I need. So today I did and it went well. I don't know what I was so afraid of. I think I make things too hard for myself sometimes!]]>
I couldn't find a good rubber band to put around my wrist, but I did find a scrunchy so I am trying it. Unfortunately it is really tight right now, I am trying to stretch it a little. I hope this idea works.

I have a headache again and I am achy all over too. My right knee has been bothering me a lot lately and yesterday I jammed my left toe into the floor, I think I cracked the nail. A laugh a minute around here. I must say, though, I do feel a little better, emotionally, since I talked to my friend. She really is a good friend, even if she doesn't live up to MY expectations! Its not fair of me to judge her for not doing things she doesn't know I want her to do. I just need to be able to tell her what I need. So today I did and it went well. I don't know what I was so afraid of. I think I make things too hard for myself sometimes!]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/holding-on.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/trying-not-to-give-up-hope.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/trying-not-to-give-up-hope.html#comments Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:47:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-2183102234045237260
My headache is getting worse right now, I just wanted to post to make sure I didn't seem so dire. I know I get a bit dramatic, I really do feel a bit hopeless right now, but not completely. The future is not set, I know this. I don't know why I am being put through such an incredibly difficult trial but someday it'll pass, right? I have to at least believe that. I must be here for a reason, its just too hard to see right now. Its just that I was miserable with my life before I was diagnosed so I drank a lot to deal. Now my life is even worse and I don't even have that to fall back on! I lost my job, my friends, and my escape. I am stubborn though and don't give up that easily. I just wish I had someone around to help me through this is all, its very hard to go through alone. I hope no one else ever has to go through this alone.]]>
My headache is getting worse right now, I just wanted to post to make sure I didn't seem so dire. I know I get a bit dramatic, I really do feel a bit hopeless right now, but not completely. The future is not set, I know this. I don't know why I am being put through such an incredibly difficult trial but someday it'll pass, right? I have to at least believe that. I must be here for a reason, its just too hard to see right now. Its just that I was miserable with my life before I was diagnosed so I drank a lot to deal. Now my life is even worse and I don't even have that to fall back on! I lost my job, my friends, and my escape. I am stubborn though and don't give up that easily. I just wish I had someone around to help me through this is all, its very hard to go through alone. I hope no one else ever has to go through this alone.]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/trying-not-to-give-up-hope.html/feed/ http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/ugh_22.html http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/ugh_22.html#comments Sat, 22 Nov 2008 23:23:00 +0000 tumorgirl tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3559300827235441300.post-9189587866539326116
I feel hopeless. All I can see is the negative. I ache all over. I want to cry. I thought I was doing better, but these mood swings are driving me nuts! My mom saaid it could be from the underactive thyroid. I was thinking it was from lowering my dose of Lexapro, but whichever it is it doesn't help! I am all alone here. I check facebook constantly looking for a message from or anything from anyone and I get very disappointed when there is nothing. I don't know how much more I can take. I have reached out to friends and get nothing. And now I am completely broke. What am I here for? What am I supposed to do? Everytime I try to do something I get pushed back down. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I should be able to see it, one week and it'll be a whole year since my last procedure, but I feel like I am worse off now than I was then! I don't know what else to do. I just hope that everyone else in my position is doing better than I am.]]>
I feel hopeless. All I can see is the negative. I ache all over. I want to cry. I thought I was doing better, but these mood swings are driving me nuts! My mom saaid it could be from the underactive thyroid. I was thinking it was from lowering my dose of Lexapro, but whichever it is it doesn't help! I am all alone here. I check facebook constantly looking for a message from or anything from anyone and I get very disappointed when there is nothing. I don't know how much more I can take. I have reached out to friends and get nothing. And now I am completely broke. What am I here for? What am I supposed to do? Everytime I try to do something I get pushed back down. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I should be able to see it, one week and it'll be a whole year since my last procedure, but I feel like I am worse off now than I was then! I don't know what else to do. I just hope that everyone else in my position is doing better than I am.]]> http://meningiomablog.blogspot.com/2008/11/ugh_22.html/feed/