Archive for July, 2008
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Headache, stomach ache, ankle pain, car problems…
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Today was the kind of day you wish you would have just stayed in bed! I have had a headache most of the day. At first I thought it was sinus related, but now not so sure. Its kinda in the middle of my forehead, not behind my eyes, not between my eyes, but in the middle of my forehead, and in the back of my head. Plus I have recently developed a stomach ache, I think from something I ate earlier, so now I don’t feel like eating anything though I know I should. My ankle is killing me, well that is a little dramatic, but it hurts a bit when I walk. I went to pick up my paycheck from the job I did last week and I hit a van with my Jeep Cherokee in the visitor parking lot while I was trying to park. The van was parked! I misjudged how much room I had. I dented and scratched the van, which it turns out was a rental so the girl who rented it has to report it. I broke a light on my car and dented the bumper but other than replacing the light I am not fixing my car, its too old to bother. It just sucks because I have been with this insurance company for almost a decade without incident and now they are probably going to raise my rate for one little dent! Then, while I was at the show I worked on, when the girl was trying to call me- I left my name and number on a piece of paper on her windshield- my phone wouldn’t work! I heard the phone ring and I answered and I heard nothing, I tried to call back but even though the phone said it was ringing I heard nothing. For a half an hour I couldn’t hear from my phone speaker. I put in my headset and I could hear, but without it I couldn’t! But of course by the time I got to Verizon it was working again. I went in anyway to see if they have heard of this problem before, which they said they hadn’t and even though this is the third phone of this model I have had since february all they could do for me is give me the same model as a replacement! So I decided to wait and see if it happens again because I really don’t want to go through all the trouble of getting another phone again! If it does happen again and then that replacement ends up being bad they will find another option for me
Now I am home and still have a headache and stomach ache and sore ankle and I just can’t wait for the day to be over so I can go to bed and know that tomorrow will be better!
I have an appointment for my ankle with a foot doc on Monday so hopefully I can get this figured out. I am used to it giving me problems every once in awhile, but it has been every day since I worked last week so I really need to get it checked. Hopefully I didn’t damage it last week working! How badly would that suck! Every time things start to go well they turn to crap! But even though it seems like I am upset, I still know that I am living the miracle and it will do no good to get depressed by everything that is going on! And speaking of depressed, my therapist forgot about me yesterday! We had an appointment and he missed it! I waited for 20 minutes, because sometimes his session before me runs a little long, but then I called him and he wasn’t even there! Man I really could have used to see him today! But I am ok, just need to get rid of this stomach ache and headache!
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My stationary bike makes me dizzy…
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Again it happened, I was riding my stationary bike and I got dizzy to the point I felt I was going to fall off the bike. I have no idea why this is happening and I can’t see my neuro doc until sept! I need to lose weight and riding the bike used to be the easiest way for me to exercise. Why is this happening? I have one more theory and after I try to rectify that I will post results. I did try to ride my outside bike yesterday and I didn’t get very far. I went to my friend’s house and I forgot to wear my ankle brace so I was too afraid to really try much. Every time I got my foot in the pedal strap my leg would start shaking which made me nervous too. Its just going to take some time. Plus my leg has been majorly cramping on me since work last week. I am going for a walk today to the pharmacy to pick up my meds so hopefully that will help.
We had an earthquake here today, nothing major though. Its epicenter was about 40 miles SE of where I am, but I did feel it! It really freaked out my cat! And it knocked some books off a bookshelf I have upstairs. It was the biggest one we have had in awhile though. Luckily no one seems to have gotten hurt and there hasn’t been much reported physical damage.
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Light headed today…
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Spent most of the day on the couch today, not feeling well. Light headed and heavy headed at the same time, I’m not really dizzy, just sort of light headed, but my head feels heavy, does that make any sense? So I took it easy today. If I still feel like this tomorrow I will take the opposite approach and be active and see if that helps. Also been having sinus issues again, just when I thought they were gone they came back! Lucky me!
I did some more thinking about the meds and happiness and everything. I was watching tv and I got very emotional watching it and even started to cry, but I wasn’t sad, just moved by the program. So the meds haven’t made me NOT feel anything so maybe it is my thinking that is making me happy and I have nothing to worry about when I stop taking the meds. I just called in for my last refill today so I only have another month left on the pills. Hopefully I am not one of those people that have become addicted to it or need it to stay happy. I do believe that I can change my moods by changing my thinking, but there are such things as chemical imbalances and such so you never really know. I guess we will find out in a month!
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Light headed today…
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Spent most of the day on the couch today, not feeling well. Light headed and heavy headed at the same time, I’m not really dizzy, just sort of light headed, but my head feels heavy, does that make any sense? So I took it easy today. If I still feel like this tomorrow I will take the opposite approach and be active and see if that helps. Also been having sinus issues again, just when I thought they were gone they came back! Lucky me!
I did some more thinking about the meds and happiness and everything. I was watching tv and I got very emotional watching it and even started to cry, but I wasn’t sad, just moved by the program. So the meds haven’t made me NOT feel anything so maybe it is my thinking that is making me happy and I have nothing to worry about when I stop taking the meds. I just called in for my last refill today so I only have another month left on the pills. Hopefully I am not one of those people that have become addicted to it or need it to stay happy. I do believe that I can change my moods by changing my thinking, but there are such things as chemical imbalances and such so you never really know. I guess we will find out in a month!
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Much Better
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My foot feels much better now, although it still hurts occasionally when I walk. It hurt most of yesterday, didn’t feel better until the evening and after I iced it and took some advil. Gonna do that again today too.
I did some online reading last night about SSRI’s. I am curious because I need to refill my Lexapro but it is my last refill and I will run out 4 days before my next doc appointment. I am trying to figure out what to do. Should I call to get another refill before my appointment or just go off it. I read some disturbing things, but not all of it is what I have been noticing. My doc said it was not a “happy” pill, that it would not make me happy. I read from several people online that it did just that for them, and I have been much happier since I started taking it. Plus that one day I missed a dose I became quite sad, I am afraid of that happening again. But then I remember that my happiness, I mean real happiness, started after my session with my therapist when he told me that I am the miracle. Ever since I have started thinking that way I have been way happier. So is it the Lexapro or the new mindset that is making me happy? In the book “Mind Over Mood” it says that changing the way you think can make you happy so maybe it really is ME that is responsible for my newfound happiness. Plus people have reported that they didn’t care much about things like they used to. I have found it to be the opposite. I am working out more and cleaning more… The only thing I seem to have in common with these complaints is the weight gain, but that only really started when I began taking Xanax and then Lunesta. When I first started Lexapro I started working out and felt like I was actually losing weight. Once I started the Xanax I started gaining weight again, even though I was working out. I have since stopped taking the Xanax and the Lunesta so maybe soon I will start losing weight again. If not, that may help me to decide on whether or not to stay on the Lexapro. I cannot afford to gain any more weight. I think that is the cause of my ankle pain, too much weight on my ankles and my ankles are too small to handle that weight!
My leg has been cramping up a lot since working this week. I went from walking a lot to lying on the couch all day. I have something to mail so I left it so I would have to walk to the post office today to get me out and walking again. Hopefully that will help. The cramping is very annoying. It doesn’t hurt, its just annoying. Stretching helps for a little while, but not long. Only time will help.
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Much Better
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My foot feels much better now, although it still hurts occasionally when I walk. It hurt most of yesterday, didn’t feel better until the evening and after I iced it and took some advil. Gonna do that again today too.
I did some online reading last night about SSRI’s. I am curious because I need to refill my Lexapro but it is my last refill and I will run out 4 days before my next doc appointment. I am trying to figure out what to do. Should I call to get another refill before my appointment or just go off it. I read some disturbing things, but not all of it is what I have been noticing. My doc said it was not a “happy” pill, that it would not make me happy. I read from several people online that it did just that for them, and I have been much happier since I started taking it. Plus that one day I missed a dose I became quite sad, I am afraid of that happening again. But then I remember that my happiness, I mean real happiness, started after my session with my therapist when he told me that I am the miracle. Ever since I have started thinking that way I have been way happier. So is it the Lexapro or the new mindset that is making me happy? In the book “Mind Over Mood” it says that changing the way you think can make you happy so maybe it really is ME that is responsible for my newfound happiness. Plus people have reported that they didn’t care much about things like they used to. I have found it to be the opposite. I am working out more and cleaning more… The only thing I seem to have in common with these complaints is the weight gain, but that only really started when I began taking Xanax and then Lunesta. When I first started Lexapro I started working out and felt like I was actually losing weight. Once I started the Xanax I started gaining weight again, even though I was working out. I have since stopped taking the Xanax and the Lunesta so maybe soon I will start losing weight again. If not, that may help me to decide on whether or not to stay on the Lexapro. I cannot afford to gain any more weight. I think that is the cause of my ankle pain, too much weight on my ankles and my ankles are too small to handle that weight!
My leg has been cramping up a lot since working this week. I went from walking a lot to lying on the couch all day. I have something to mail so I left it so I would have to walk to the post office today to get me out and walking again. Hopefully that will help. The cramping is very annoying. It doesn’t hurt, its just annoying. Stretching helps for a little while, but not long. Only time will help.
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Exhausted and sore!
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Wow, I am totally drained and sore. My ankle is really bothering me too. It hurts to walk on it. I know I didn’t twist it at work because I wore a brace, and it doesn’t hurt like that. It is hard to explain how it feels, but its more like the bones hurt than the muscles or tendons, it hurts to step on it but when I am sitting it is fine. It does this occasionally but today it is lasting longer than usual. My legs are pretty sore, the muscles, I walked a lot the past couple of days at work! I had a great time though! And I think more work will follow soon!
I am also very tired, I don’t feel like doing anything today. If I had gone to work I might be ok, but since I am home and doing nothing I am noticing it more, does that make any sense? I know that when I woke up yesterday I was a bit sore but once I got to work I was fine. At least I am able to recover!
I really did have a great time at work. The only problem was people asking what I did to my ankle! I wear the brace to keep me safe but it draws attention, especially when I have the cane. For some people I just said it was a long story, but some people I told my story. One girl asked and we got to talking. She said that sometimes when something happens to her it takes her a while to realize why and asked if I now have clarity on why this may have happened to me. I said to make me happier and enjoy life more, and also to be more confident about myself. Its true. I don’t care what others think any more, to some extent. There are still a couple of times that I feel stupid or bad for something I said or did, but as far as my looks, which have always been an issue for me because I am overweight, I don’t really care any more. I am comfortable with myself now, and confident. I am living the miracle as my therapist suggested. And it feels good! I am happy!
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Today was Great!
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I had a great time on set today! I did well and the boss is even trying to get me another job! At one point my other boss came up to me and asked if I was doing ok and to sit if I needed to because I don’t have to impress anyone, I’ve already got the job! So I did sit occasionally, but I tend to feel more tired after I sit so I didn’t sit too much. My feet are killing me and my legs kinda feel like they are throbbing, but I did pretty well. I think working out the past month has helped me build up my endurance. I am really tired, but I need to stay up for a little while because the call tomorrow is later. Today was not as long as I expected, 12 hours, and tomorrow may be only 8 hours, but at least I am getting hours towards my insurance and I will bring home more money for two days than a full week of unemployment.
Time to rest…
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Today was Great!
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I had a great time on set today! I did well and the boss is even trying to get me another job! At one point my other boss came up to me and asked if I was doing ok and to sit if I needed to because I don’t have to impress anyone, […]
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Yay!
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I went to set yesterday, of the show I used to work on until 2005. My plan worked, I got a couple days of work, tomorrow and thursday. I have been gathering everything I will need for tomorrow and I can’t find my good walkie headset. Ticks me off because I remember seeing it not too long ago and I thought it was still in my backpack and it is not. I don’t like my other headset. Maybe they will have an extra earpiece at the job. I am now just waiting for a call to give me a call time and directions. I got a call earlier saying call was 7 am and if that is still the call I want to go to be soon, but I can’t until I get the call. For a 7 am call I need to get up around 4:30 am because it is in Malibu and I need to arrive early so I can eat breakfast before my call time and the guy I am working for will expect me to be early. I haven’t driven to Malibu at that hour in a long time so I have no idea how long it will take, but I would rather be early than late. I am taking several ankle braces just to be sure I have the right one for the job. I am taking the big plastic AFO brace just in case I have to carry heavy things, and for tomorrow because I may have to walk around in the grass which I can’t do well without the brace. I need to do well because they are being kind to me by giving me these two days. They are helping me because they know I need the insurance hours, but if I do well it may lead to more work. This show is on its last episode for a couple months, but these guys I am working with know a lot more people than I do so they may be able to help me get more work. Wish me luck! Its going to be a long and exhausting two days, but I know I am going to love it!
