Tackabery Chronicle

Las Vegas sucks, musically speaking

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Last week my husband and I were in Vegas, and a lot of the time, I was miserable. Why? Well, I’ll tell ya. Nothing kills my mood faster than an overdose of unfeeling, commercially processed tunes, and Vegas blares them from every corner, ledge, window, side speaker, slot machine, corridor, and bathroom speaker. You cannot, cannot, can not escape the aural Velveeta, and in some places, you will drown into it if you step into the wrong hall. Such as the hall off the monorail stop at Harrah’s, which forces you to walk past a restaurant dedicated to the hits of Toby Keith.

Who I failed to realize had any hits at all. Lord, save us. I had the misfortune to walk by, stuck behind some rather large folks that made it impossible to pass, and got to hear him doing this. There are no shortage of ear violations in this world, apparently.

The only time I heard music I liked, the entire week we were there, was in the Wynn, the only mega-casino we were in that did not play an ASCAP-friendly sound track (for God’s sake, in the Hilton while we were hanging out gambling before we hit the Star Trek experience, and were treated to hear a round of pseudo-R&B hits that rotated through the mountain highs of Alicia Keys and Janet Jackson to the valley lows of Britney Spears). In the casino, I heard some kind of nu-jazz trip-hop that actually made me . . . dare I say it? . . . happy for the brief shining moments before we went in to Spamalot. Where the songs made me very, very happy. So much so, I had to pull out my inhaler no less than five times, and made Erica Ash lose her concentration during one particular loud outburst (sorry, Guinevere, I couldn’t help it).

When I would get back to our room I would crank up real music as much as I could, like the funky-fresh LeggoBeast, one of the albums I can’t seem to stop playing lately. Next time you head to Vegas - bring your music with you.

Leggo Beast Tales From the Crib-Exponentially Yours

tags: las vegas, spamalot, monty python, erica ash, music

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