MDOD

2010 Race

I announce my candidacy for the President of these here United States for 2012. As both a cat and a physician I think I appeal to a broad base of felines and physicians. After carefully studying the wide-eyed swooning of brainless drones in this election, my platform consists of the following:

Free cat food for everyone, and cat nip.

Free health care ( and vet care).

Free housing in an old ladies house where you can do as you feel until she dies and the authorities find you.

Free Shots (kids and kittens).

Free beer.

cigs.

$5,000 cash for any kid running around your house, or near your house, with, or without, a baby daddy.

Government jobs for everyone.

Make teasing a cat with a toy a hate crime.

Legalize alley cat-alley cat marriage.

Abortion on demand, or not.

Mandatory solar cars or horse and buggies.

Severely increase the progressive tax rate on those making over $150,000, or whatever number I feel like, to 95%. (Except for me and my home-stumps with our cash conveniently in a nice little bank in the Caymans)

Me and my elite rich friends get to have all the bling and tell you groundlings what to do; just don’t act like us.

Disregard that previous statement. I was typing while I was thinking about how good it was going to be to be in power and control people while giving them crumbs and keeping them dependent while I stay rich, bi-atch.

I did it again. I will now stop typing. In closing vote for me in 2012 because I will make your life so easy. You won’t have to work for the American Dream. I’ll give it to you for FREE. Hell, I am the American Dream, bi-atch.

I am hoping I can woo Al Franken away from you brain dead…er cranially challenged Minn. dipsh**s to be my running mate. I’m a shoe in if he can win. If not him then that old windbag who always looks like he’s about to take a dump Murtha. WTF. Like shooting, then eating, fish in a barrel. Ah hell, I did it again, I keep typing what I’m thinking. As long as I don’t say it on the campaign trail there is no way I can lose.

S. CAT 2012, CHANGE WE CAN REALLY REALLY BELIEVE IN, AGAIN, BI-ATCH

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