Archive for January, 2007

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The Medical History

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Taking a medical history in the ED is often a challenge. Usually this is because people don’t know their own medical problems or have any clue, for instance, that drinking a twelve pack of beer a day is, well, unhealthy.

There is also the patient who is just stupid (click above to see my previous post […]


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Positive Cheetos Sign

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As bad as ED jobs are, dealing with life and death, drug overdoses, drug seekers, neuron synapse misfires (idiots), social misanthropes, and the like, there is one thing that would at least make this job a little easier…honesty.
I am not a policeman, so I don’t care how much coke or meth or GHB […]


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The Child as a Battering Ram

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Once every few months I get an angry mom presenting to the ED with their child. The child is usually a girl though not always. The complaint is that “Her father might have molested her.”
Inevitably the story then unfolds of the nasty breakup or divorce and the ongoing custody battle. The child, usually pre-verbal or […]


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Acronyms

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I was inspired by my friend at “Addicted to Medblogs” (click title above to navigate there) to add some new acronyms to her list. Acronyms are useful on the ED board to let the ED staff know what the chief complaint of a particular patient is without spelling it out for the passers-by to see […]


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Supper Nanny Needed (ten years ago)

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A frumpy forty-ish woman walked into the ED about 20 minutes after her son arrived by ambulance. There was no father around and I suspect that to be the case at their home too. No matter, this young hoodlum, 13 years old, had been out drinking vodka and, as befits an alcohol rookie, he got […]


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I Don’t Know What to Say

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A young mother brought in her 4 month old at 1am this morning with fever. The child had been seen by his pediatrician just 12 hours previous and had been placed on an appropriate treatment regimen for otitis media. The mother had gone to the pharmacy and picked up the antibiotic prescription (covered by the […]


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Helpful Hint Regarding Body Piercings

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For some young, fit, and healthy people a body piercing or two can add a certain ammount of skanky allure. I mean in a heroin-chic kind of way (not the take home to mom way).
However, if you are a hirsute fat woman, having a bunch of metal in your face is, well, amplifying the fact […]


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Tiny Bob

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A tiny Bob Marley look-alike walked into the ED the other night after being ‘cut’ by his girlfriend. Tiny Bob was 21 and had dreadlocks and the whole look going on. He wasn’t badly hurt but he was very worried about his rep with his home-slices. He also didn’t want me to sew up his […]


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"I Was Raped"

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If you come into the Emergency Department with a chief complaint of sexual assault many things will occur.
First the police will be notified and they will come and interview you. Second, an evidentiary collection for sexual assault will be performed along with a standard exam. Finally, you will be offered counselling, pregnancy prophylaxis, and STD […]


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Lost a Holiday

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Sorry to be repetitive. No Christmas cheer this year. No Christmas spirit. Just a dude stabbed in the neck, a bunch of kids with flu or something like it, and a bunch of out-of-town patients who were either depressed about Christmas or out of their percocet or both. Gotta get the holiday thing down better. […]