Archive for December, 2006
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A Bloody Freaking Mess
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Woe unto you if you piss off the wrong woman. She may sneak up on you with a knife and plant it in your neck. A few minutes later you may find yourself drowning in your own frothy blood with a medic cutting your neck with a scalpel to stick a tube down your trachea […]
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Death in an Hour
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It is uncommon that someone dies in the Emergency Department who wasn’t already well on their way to dying in the field. It is even more uncommon to watch someone die right in front of you and do nothing other than perform “medical management” (fluids and medicines).
I took care of a woman last night who […]
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Emergency or Not an Emergency?
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Great idea for a new Hollywood game show. Prime time. It’s called “Emergency, or Not an Emergency?”
The moderator would be someone of great fame, talent, and class. Wait, let’s make it a no-talent, weird, washed-up dude… Louie Anderson perhaps. Members of the audience would choose a suitcase held by a beautiful model. Inside the chosen […]
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"His Balls Haven’t Moved in Two Days"
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Imagine my surprise while, in the course of explaining to a very sweet 84 year old woman that her husband was in heart failure, was intubated and chemically sedated, and would need to go to the intensive care unit to recover, she interrupted me and said, “You know his balls haven’t moved in two days.”
Now […]
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The "Throckmorton Sign" Explained
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We are an immature bunch for the most part. It turns out that with Xrays of the male pelvis or hip region that the penis can often be seen hanging left or right. Legend, not research, tells that the side the penis points to is the side of the fracture or ‘lesion’ as we say.
Further, […]
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The Contest
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Continuing the “alcohol and rectal foreign bodies” theme, I will add this little story. Early one morning a few years ago, a skinny gentleman came to the ED complaining that he had something stuck in his ass. He was intoxicated, and did not seem that uncomfortable, either with […]
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The Obligatory ED "Rectal Foreign Body" Post
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Okay. Yes, we sometimes see patients who have put things up their butt and can not get them out. Here’s a little bit I wrote about a recent patient.
I noted the other night at work that shaving cream can be dangerous. It seems that American manufacturers have neglected to put a safety warning label […]
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Another Acorn Falling Near the Tree
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Saw a patient, ten years old, who had just been seen by his pediatrician. Turns out the mother of this little gem had been kicked out of the pediatrician’s office for cursing and throwing a tantrum. Seems she wanted junior to get antibiotics for his cold and, after a prolonged explanation from the pediatrician with […]
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My Friend the Hero
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I have a friend just returned from Iraq. He’s been there 7 or 8 times now since the war started. He’s a special operations guy and therefore he deploys for shorter periods which usually involve intense combat. My wife and I had dinner with him and his wife last night. Let’s call my friends Mike […]
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Hello Taxpayers
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A 19 year old illegal alien from Mexico came into my ED last night by ambulance. What I meant to say that a 19 year old guest worker/visitor/(insert politically correct term of the day here) came into the ED etc..
Up front, this guy’s life is now shit. He was in a bad car wreck and […]
