Mental Fitness for Good Health

Boren Divorces Michigan Football Team

Divorces and blending family issues occur in sports as well in families.  Lloyd Carr resigned as coach of the U of Michigan football team and most of his coaches were not rehired.  Some players including potential stars left the team.  Justin Boren and his team remained with their mother, the U of Michigan.

Problems really started brewing when the new step-father, Rich Rodriquez divorced West Virginia to take over the leadership role at U of M.  Even now, Coach Rod is still in the middle of a very messy divorce from West Virginia with the unfortunate allegations and legal entanglements common in divorce. 

The mother or U of M football hired Coach Rod to change the culture and family values at the U of M.  Too many losses to Ohio State, underdogs liked Appalachian State, spread offenses and bowl games.  Like so many sons and daughters in families of divorce, Justin Boren and some of his teammates did not like the new father figure changing the family dynamics and culture.  Coach Rod has become the "evil step-father" pushing the mother’s "lax children" to greater achievement through hard work, strict rules and new expectations.

Justin like many children in divorce has verbally acted-out and ran away from home.   

This is what Justin said as reported by Bleacher Reporter

"I regret leaving behind my friends and teammates, but I need to stand up for what I know is right. I wore the winged helmet with pride, whether we won or lost, whether things were going well or times were tough.""Michigan football was a family, built on mutual respect and support for each other from Coach Carr on down. We knew it took the entire family, a team effort, and we all worked together. I have great trouble accepting that those family values have eroded in just a few months. That same helmet, that I was raised on and proudly claimed for the last two years, now brings a completely different emotion to me, one that interferes with practicing and playing my best and mentally preparing for what is required."

Justin’s ran away from home because he perceived U of M’s "family values have eroded in just a few months".

Unfortunately from Justin’s perspective the family values have "eroded".  For many Michigan fans the passion and commitment for wining has been eroding, since the days of Bo Schembechler and the beginning years of Lloyd Carr.  Winning has been great in the past, but gave birth to complacency and values to justify mediocrity.  Coach Rod is resuscitating Michigan Football much as Bo Schembechler has in the past.   

Coach Rod is a hard nosed coach.  It will take time to form new family relationships and carve out new family values just like in all divorces.  Over time, I would expect that the there will be accepted family values at U of M.  I expect Coach Rod’s values will be shared by his team, especially after the team plays and starts winning.

When step-fathers focus on the family and helping their step-children actualize their abilities, eventually the step-fathers are accepted and their values are internalized.  A new team with family values is the result.  There is hope for Coach Rod in his implimenting seemingly different, but familiar values known by successful teams.

I do not see Justin Boren as a quitter.  He felt he didn’t belong and was unable to get past his grief for the old familiar faces and their values.  Hoping he can find a new fit, no matter where he goes.

Children who rebel in divorce and run away aren’t quitters.  I do not believe that Justin is a quitter.  He and children from divorce are strong in their beliefs and perceptions.  Often after their rebellion and adjustment difficulties, they return to the family and fit in very well.  Unfortunately, this will not happen with Justin and the U of M football team.

Choices are powerful.  Adjusting to new coaches, routines and values is never easy.  Adjusting to the divorces in our lives will be hard,  Rest assured, we all will have some sort of a divorce some time in our lives.

Remember, We Live with the Team Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

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