Mental Fitness for Good Health

Wrong Solutions For Stopping Smoking Create Relapse!

I received a wonderful comment regarding my blog, Re-wiring Urges.  Lora wrote:

"I LOVED your post on re-wiring the urge to smoke.  I’m a smoker and have quit way too many times to count.  One time lasted 15 years.  So…what else do you have in your bag of tricks for smokers?  I’m all ears!"

Thank you Lora for e-mailing me such a nice comment.  After thinking for a few minutes, I reached into my bag of tricks.  Then my mind wandered back to Lora’s dilemma.

Lora’s dilemma is well-known to many smokers.  The dilemma is, why do people relapse?  Why can’t people maintain a state of quitting?  Why can’t people stop smoking forever?

What I found in my bag tricks for non-smokers may surprise you or even shock you.

I hope you’re sitting down when you read this. 

Relapse is not caused by addiction.  Relapse is caused by wrong solutions to stop an addiction.

In my previous blog, I wrote about re-wiring the urges for smoking.  In this blog I am writing about re-wiring the solutions for quitting smoking.

Let me explain.  Most solutions for quitting smoking are motivated to get people "to quit smoking".  Although it is a reasonable and logical goal to step smoking, the solution cannot be to find ways "to quit smoking".  Any program motivated to get people "to quit smoking" builds in relapse and most of the time will fail.

Have you ever noticed that the harder you try to get a child to stop doing something, the harder the child continues to engage in that activity?

Have you ever noticed that when you quit something you really don’t want to quit, you feel like you’re being punished?

Have you ever noticed that when you "have to" or "should do" something like quitting smoking, you feel like you’re being deprived of something you want?

Aren’t most smoking cessation programs based upon stopping smoking and motivated by using discipline words like "should", "have to", "need to"?

Aren’t these same words used to dominate or control a person?

Here is the dilemma.  If you stop smoking and you feel punished, deprived or dominated when you quit,
a relapse is waiting to happen.  No one likes to be punished, deprived or dominated forever!

We need a re-wiring job quickly.  Freedom from smoking must be a reward, not punishment.  Freedom from smoking must enhance our lives, not deprive us.  Freedom from smoking must be a form of self-actualization, not submissiveness.

It is paradoxical.  For over 20 years I have been free from smoking.  Never once in 20 years have I quit smoking or even thought about quitting smoking!  It is a paradox.  I have freedom from smoking by never making the choice to quit smoking.

If you ever called me a non-smoker, I’d quickly tell you you’re wrong.  I will look you straight in the eye and tell you I am a smoker!  I am a smoker making choices to enjoy my life without smoking.

If you have questions about re-wiring solutions, just leave comments or e-mail me.

Remember, You Live within an Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.