Mental Fitness for Good Health

Can People Be Addicted to Feelings?

Feelings: One of my clients asked me a very surprising question.  She is an attractive, very intelligent woman who has just gone through a painful separation.  Her ex-boyfriend has made it painfully obvious that he has moved on in his life with another woman.  During their relationship, he sometimes treated her very badly.

With tears in her eyes, she said "I love him".  In spite of everything that he has done to her, she feels that she still loves him.  In spite of all of the support and encouragement of her friends and family to accept the breakup, she still loves him.

A little later she asked the question.  A very profound question.  A question I never thought about before.  She asked "can people be addicted to feelings"?

After hearing the question, my mind raced with thoughts about how to help people with addictions to feelings.  For example, what if many people are not really as depressed as they think.  What if they are addicted to feeling depressed? 

Are some depressed people experiencing an addiction to feeling depressed rather than being depressed?

The American Heritage Dictionary defined addiction has "The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something".   

I have talked with many men and women who are addicted to feeling love.  They are habitually or compulsively occupied and consumed with the feeling of love for another person, who has not formed a loving relationships with them for a long time and, in fact, has treated them badly.  They hold onto the empty feeling of love for a long gone for their ex-significant other.  Even after their relationship has died, they remain addicted to the feeling of love.  Realistically, the loving relationship has gone and they can’t let go of the feelings of love.

When I began working with this woman from the perspective of addiction, she began to find relief from the breakup of her relationship and her addiction to the feeling of love.

Yes, I believe that people can be addicted to feelings.  What do you think?

Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Mental Fitness Coach

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