Mental Fitness for Good Health

The Power of Accepting or Not Accepting Frustrations

Accepting or not accepting frustrations are very powerful choices that will determine the direction and quality of your life.

In my last post, I talking about The Power of Expecting Frustrations in Relationships.  When we expect there will be frustrations in our relationships, it is easier to make choices to accept or not accept specific frustrations. 

In a previous post I talked about The Power of Accepting Differences.  Sometimes the differences between people are frustrating.  However, there are many frustrations in relationships that are not associated with or caused by differences in personality, sexuality or previous learning experience.

From my perspective, is extremely important for people to make choices about what frustrations they will accept or won’t accept in order to have good mental health and fitness.  Too often, I’ve talked with people who would not make a decision and stick to it regarding accepting or rejecting frustrations.

What would you do in these three situations?

1.  Anonymously, your significant other receives a call.  The unidentified caller suggests your significant other should be more vigilant regarding your fidelity.

2.  For years, your significant other has been making accusations of infidelity, which are not true.   Your significant other maintains his or her beliefs in spite of proof that you have been faithful.

3.  Your significant other has been unfaithful to you.

I realize that these three situations are different in nature and severity.  Making decisions to accept or not accept these frustrations is much more difficult than people can imagine.  In spite of giving lip-service to what people can accept or not accept, it is difficult for people to make "acceptance" or "rejection" decisions when faced with the reality of these kinds of frustrations in their relationships.

What other people would do or not do is immaterial and unimportant.  The most important factor is to search yourself honestly and decide what you can accept or not accept.  Also realize that acceptance does not mean likability or agreement.  Life is learning to accept some things we don’t like, while rejecting other things we like or don’t like.

If you decide to accept these frustrations in order to maintain a relationship, then it is important to make decisions that will nurture your relationship and heal your hurt.

If you decide to not accept these frustrations in order to maintain a relationship, then you are faced with two options.  One option is to end a relationship decisively, completely, and immediately. The other option is to communicate to your significant other that you will no longer accept the frustration (whatever the problem is).  Then the person must change genuinely to continue the relationship with you.

What you choose to accept or not accept is an individual matter.  It is important to be decisive when faced with difficult decisions.  In order to maintain mental fitness and go on with your life successfully, make a decision regarding what you can or cannot accept.

The power of acceptance and the power of non-acceptance is life defining and will determine the quality of your life and relationships.

Remember, You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices!

Dr. Hal

Life and Metal Fitness Coach

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