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15 Mental Fitness Resolutions for 2009
New Year’s Eve and the dawning of the new year has become the time for renewing our lives. We resolve to set goals to improve specific areas of deficiencies in our lives. The obese person resolves to lose weight. A smoker resolves to stop smoking. A violent person resolves to stop being violent. The number of specific problems and resolutions are innumerable.
Today, I’m going to provide a list of resolutions for making people stronger in all aspects of their lives. The purpose of the mental fitness resolutions is not to solve specific problems, although this list could be used for that purpose.
The purpose of the mental fitness resolutions is to improve the quality of our lives on a daily basis. The purpose is to become more mentally fit to cope with problems, to iimprove relationships or to achieve goals. Another purpose is to learn to take care of ourselves on a daily basis by making the best decisions so we will feel happiness, peace of mind, freedom and control over our lives.
THE 15 MENTAL FITNESS RESOLUTIONS ARE:
1. When I went freedom from the way things are in my life, I will do things differently.
2. When I want to have a centered life, I will ask myself what is the best way to take care of me now.
3. I will maintain focused on taking care of myself in difficult situations.
4. I will act to take care of myself in order to reach my goals.
5. I will focus in on my successes in life and feel good about my successes even when life is not going well.
6. I will accept the frustrations necessary to take care of me.
7. I will live in the present and one day at a time.
8. I will accept my self-defeating behaviors and freely choose to no longer engage in self-defeating behavior.
9. I will check my lifestyle to ensure that I am on target for reaching my immediate and long-range goals.
10. I will learn to change my problems in life by changing my thinking about my problems.
11. I will interpret my problems in my life as signals for me to make changes in my thinking and behavior.
12. When I have conflicts in relationships, I will express my values in my relationships rather than painful emotions.
13. I will make sure that I have a balance between work and play in my life.
14. I will accept my weaknesses, shortcomings and problems as part of me, without feeling I have a poor self-concept.
15. I will never doubt the powerfulness of my choice making in changing my feelings, thoughts, behavior, relationships, activities, health, and external circumstances.
I hope that some of these resolutions will resonate with you and you can have more power over your life in 2009.
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New Year’s Courage
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2009 Resolution: Choose Health Instead of Smoking
New Year’s Eve is approaching. Soon it will be time for your 2009 Resolutions.
Some of you are smokers and may be tempted to make a resolution to stop smoking. Trusted. MD presented 40 medical reasons for not smoking. I urge you to read this article.
Choose health in 2009! Make your New Year’s Resolution positive and Choose Health and the benefits of good health rather than negatively focusing on stopping smoking.
Let me explain what I mean. Let us look at how we normally learn.
Our teachers taught us to read so we could have the benefits of reading for the rest of our lives. Our teachers did not motivate us by telling us we had to stop being illiterate. Through our school we were not motivated to stop something. We were motivated to learn something that would benefit us for the rest of our lives.
Through the next year let us learn to make good decisions in order to have good health and the benefits of good health.
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The Power of Choice Making
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I THINK, THEREFORE I AM
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It Is Okay!
Acceptance-what is acceptance?
Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk to more than one client about acceptance. The first client was struggling with depression and anger precipitated by his loss of health. For him the change in his health “was not okay”!
Another one of my clients has had a life repeatedly punctured by death. During her adolescent years, her brother committed suicide. Her husband was killed in an accident. She has recently gone through a divorce. Of all these losses, the loss of her brother has been the most difficult to accept. For her these deaths “were not okay”.
Acceptance is learning how to turn “what is not okay” into “it is okay”. Acceptance is a long process, not a superficial, fleeting thought.
Death is probably one of the most difficult events in our lives to accept. Especially the unexpected death or the death of a young, healthy child or adolescent. It is extremely difficult to accept the suicidal death of a loved one. Even the death of a loved, older person is difficult to accept.
It is hard to accept the harsh reality of death at the time of the death. At that time, it is often impossible to accept. Every part of us shouts out “it is not okay”. Sometimes we are in denial. Sometimes we are angry, depressed, confused and lost. We blame ourselves and wish we would have done more. We must push away guilt, but it still lingers.
Much has been written about the stages of grief. The last stage is acceptance. But you might ask, what is acceptance? A simple way of knowing acceptance is to think and feel “it is okay”.
My client who had lost her brother, believes she has accepted his death. She has accepted her brother’s death death, although the reality of death never really leaves for very long.
She was stunned, when I asked her if her brother’s death was okay. Sure although she believes she has accepted her brother’s death, she couldn’t say “it is okay”. She needs to think about whether she can say “it is okay” that her brother died. She really needs to think about whether “it is okay” that he died by killing himself.
Acceptance and serenity, which are generated by progressing through the steps of grief, can lead us to say “it is okay”, when we have lost a loved one no matter what the circumstances are. “It is okay” does not minimize the importance of the deceased person to us. Rather it signifies our acceptance of the reality of death and our freedom from painful emotions and guilt associated with loss.
Consider the goal of being able to say “it is okay”, when confronted with death and any significant loss. “It is okay “is not giving in and being weak. Quite the contrary, we are strong when we can accept the painful reality of death and set a goal to live our life to the fullest.
It does not matter that the nature of the losses. It could be the losses associated with aging, illness, unemployment, divorce or retirement. We must learn to turn “it is not okay” to “it is okay”! We must realize that acceptance is the beginning of life and of growth.
Remember, We Live Within the Environment Created by Our Choices and Our Thoughts!
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When Your Adult Child Is in Trouble or Troubled
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Nothing Is As Bad As It Seems!
On September 16, 2007 I wrote this post at the North Star Mental Fitness Blog. As I read it again, I realize that it is very pertinent and relevant to today’s economic climate. Therefore, I chose to publish it again.
“Nothing is as good as it seems. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Reality is somewhere in between.” Lou Holtz made this statement in talking about Notre Dame’s dismal start to the 2007 season.
There is no doubt that Notre Dame has played poorly this year. Lou Holtz is a veteran coach. What a wonderful message to give to a struggling team. “Nothing is as bad as it seems” is a message of hope and encouragement.
Too often we engage in catastrophic thinking. Life sometime seems so overwhelming. We struggle to cope with the recurring stresses in our lives. We feel stuck in circumstances that seem overbearing. We tried everything and nothing seems to work. We feel defeated. Personality conflicts endure. Misunderstandings and insensitivities abound. Losses in life accumulate. Maybe it’s a job loss or declining health. Maybe it’s a death of someone close to you. Maybe it’s an illness of a child or family member. Maybe its financial or spiritual. Maybe it’s called midlife crisis, divorce, bankruptcy or an illness.
We are convinced it’s as bad as it seems.
Last week almost everyone was convinced that the University of Michigan’s football team was as bad as it seemed. Yesterday, they won convincingly. They were led to victory by their mentally tough halfback, Michael Hart. Michael Hart was convinced that the University of Michigan football team was not as bad as it seemed and he promised a victory against Notre Dame.
Michael Hart’s belief in his team, mental fitness, confidence, and courage turned the erroneous conclusion “it’s as bad as it seems” into “its not as bad as it seems“.
I hope it is reassuring for you to realize when you are stretched to the breaking point and emotionally devastated “it’s not as bad as it’s seems “. There will be solutions. There will be sufficient inner strength. There are people who will care and be there for you. There are solutions inside of yourself to solve your problems. Look inside of yourself rather than expecting others to change. Rally your resources and realize tomorrow’s a different day.
What you do today, may work tomorrow as tomorrow is a different day. What you do tomorrow can be different than what you did today.
You can go from losing to winning even after you’ve had significant defeats and losses. You can remain confidence in yourself in spite of all of the problems in your life. Courageously think and work to turn your life around.
Remember, the Law of Attraction. How you think about your life creates your life. When life is at it’s worse, your thinking doesn’t have to be at it’s worst. Think; then actively pursue with confidence and courage the way you want your life to be.
“Nothing Is As Bad As It Seems” is a hopeful and encouraging statement for us to consider, when we are about to lose all hope and motivation. Even regarding our current economy, might ”Nothing Is As Bad As It Seems” be a better thought that a doomsday thought?
Remember, We Live within the Environment Created by Our Thoughts!
Dr. Hal
Life and Mental Fitness Coach
If you want to know more about Michael Hart and his overcoming the death of her sister, please read “Do You Have the Desire to Overcome?”
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Do You Live within the Environment Created by Your Choices?
This is a very important question for you to answer. Who or what is determining the environment where you live?
As we all know we are in a recession. The economy is bad. People are losing their jobs and their homes. Economic security is disappearing from all of our lives. With all of these bad things happening it would be natural to feel depressed and discouraged.
The more we become depressed, the more we stop doing our usual activities. We withdraw from life. Even our relationship are affected by our withdrawal, our irriability and our depression. We feel life becomes hopeless. We think there is no end to our misery. All of this hammers on our body and health. Our immune system is smashed and compromised. We become more susceptible to infection and illness.
Yes, if we allow the economy to determine our environment, we will live in the environment of depression, loneliness, failure, and poor health.
We have choices! We do not have to allow the economy to make us depressed. We do not have to allow the economy to overwhelm us. We do not have to allow the economy to control our psychological and physical well-being!
We have the power of choice! Our power of choice can be stronger than the economy in determining our health and well-being!
How we think about our economy is more powerful than the economy in effecting our emotional and physical well-being!
We can think of the economy as providing opportunities rather than problems!
We can think of the economy as providing us with a new start in life rather than the end of life!
We could think of the economy as putting into perspective what is really meaningful and important in our lives!
We can choose to remember that the economy did not make us who we are, but rather we achieved and created our economic benefits!
We can focus our lives on taking care of ourselves and making the best decisions possible; which is important to do in both good and bad times!
We can expect bad economic times, maintain our confidence and continue to make the best psychological and economic choices available for us!
We can always remember and be committed to this belief:
I LIVE WITHIN THE ENVIRONMENT CREATED BY MY CHOICES!
You can choose to make choices! You can choose to be happy! You can choose to enjoy your family and relationships! You can choose to eat well and exercise and have good health! You can make all the choices and bad economic times!
REMEMBER, YOU LIVE WITHIN THE ENVIRONMENT CREATED BY YOUR CHOICES!
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