meditation and impermanence
I don't know how long the grieving process lasts, so as i miss my father after his passing, i find comforting these words of Thich Nhat Hanh, in Opening the Heart of the Cosmos - Insights into the Lotus Sutra, from the chapter on meditation:We have a strong tendency to believe that we will remain the same person forever, and that our loved ones will also remain the same forever, but this is a kind of delusion that prevents us from living in a more mindful and compassionate way. If we believe that everyone and everything we love will always be there, we will have little concern to take care of them, to treasure them deeply right here and now. When we lose something or someone we love, we suffer. Yet when that thing or person was still present in our lives we may not have treasured it, we didn't fully appreciate him or her, because we lacked the insight of impermanence. It's very important to make the insight of impermanence the object of our meditative awareness, because this insight is an essential element of love and compassion.
Well I can say I have treasured visits with my father and mother, when my life permitted them. So I have lived with awareness of the impermanence of life, despite my physical distance from them. I did not take my parents for granted. Our family has had a lifelong dear friend whose wonderful name is Tink. In an email to me she said that although I felt I was coming to terms with my father's passing, "it is very hurtful to lose such a faithful friend and supporter in your life." I agree. Our parents are our friends and supporters.
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